Reverence

On Sunday morning, as we were at Mass, I was trying to direct K to pay attention to what was happening on the altar, to recognise and show reverence for our Lord in the Eucharist.  I didn't do much, just pointed out to him that Jesus was on the altar, which usually has the effect of reminding him to pay attention.  This time, though, as I was telling him this, I was thinking about the amount of reverence shown, or not.  I was telling him that Jesus was there, but then had to ask myself if I was behaving in a way that showed the reality of what was happening, and I don't think I was.

I have a hard time sometimes staying focused, not getting irritated, and generally showing the reverence due my Saviour when I'm at Mass, either because I'm trying to make sure the kids are okay and not getting into trouble, or because I start focusing on others who are talking or whatnot.  While I do think there needs to be more reverence shown in general, I can't change what other people do or don't do, and I need to stop paying attention to that.  What I can do is ensure that I am showing the proper reverence to my Eucharistic Lord, reminding myself of why I'm there.  I also think that my children will be more affected by me giving a positive example than just giving them a few directions and yet not showing the reverence I should.  And I can work on not getting irritated when I'm broken out of my reverie by a kid falling down or squirming or crying.

Perhaps providentially, I just saw this excerpt from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. Maybe I should re-read that book.

Noah, a good man (Gen 6:9), is said to have worked a hundred years to build the ark, so that he and a few others might be saved (I Pet 3:20.). How, then, can I in one short hour prepare myself to receive with reverence the Creator of the world? Moses, Your great servant and especial friend, constructed an Ark of imperishable wood (Exod 25:10), and covered it with purest gold, in order to house the Tablets of the Law:and how shall I, a corruptible creature, dare so lightly to receive You, the Maker of the Law and Giver of life? Solomon, wisest of Israel's kings (I Kings 5:7), spent seven years in building a splendid Temple in praise of Your name. For eight days he kept the Feast of its Dedication, and offered a thousand peace-offerings. To the sound of trumpets, he solemnly and joyfully bore the Ark of the Covenant to its appointed resting-place. How, then, shall I, unworthiest and poorest of men, welcome You into my house (Luke 7:6), when I can hardly spend half an hour devoutly? If only I could spend even half an hour as I ought!

O my God, how earnestly did all these strive to please You! And how little, alas, can I do! How short is the time that I employ in preparing myself for Communion! Seldom am I entirely recollected, and very seldom free from all distraction. Yet in Your saving presence, O God, no unbecoming thought should enter my mind, for it is not an Angel, but the Lord of Angels who comes to be my guest.