There Is Also Life

I finally got around to reading the entire NYT article on twin "reduction" (to use their euphemism). I didn't really want to read it, because I knew it would both anger and sadden me. As I was reading it, though, I kept noticing that those who were choosing to abort one twin, or a child with a genetic defect, seemed to only focus on the negatives. For example, the parents talked about how they didn't think it would be fair to their other children, or that they wouldn't be able to give multiples the love and attention needed, or that they didn't want to deal with the craziness or difficulty of raising multiples or a child with a genetic defect.

Yes, there are difficulties. That is true with any child, multiple or not, genetic defect or not. Yes, there are more difficulties with some situations than with others, but there are also love and life. One of the mothers who was interviewed for this mentioned that she was terrified of having twins after seeing a friend who seemed to be struggling with having twins plus an older child. After having her twins, though, she commented that "the thought of not having any one of them is unbearable now, because they are no longer shadowy fetuses but full-fledged human beings whom I love in a huge and aching way." I suppose that's part of it - too often we don't see the unborn as being a "full-fledged human being", and it's all too easy to forget when they aren't seen.

I'm reminded of the scene between Arwen and Elrond, when Arwen sees her future child. When she confronts Elrond about it, he says he looked into her future and saw death, which is true. What he neglected to tell her was about the life there would also be. There will always be pain in this life, but there is also beauty. I think we forget that when we focus so much on the potential negatives.