When we first talked about the strong possibility of moving back to the US, I was sad but OK with it. The past two days, though, I've been a bit more stressed. I think of England as "home", and have done so from the minute I first set foot on this wonderful island. Yes, it will be wonderful to see all the family, many of whom we've not seen for two or more years, I just wish I could stay here and do that.
So in the midst of this stress and sadness today, a couple of things have come back to me. One is a homily I heard a month or two ago. One of the monks from Ampleforth Abbey was visiting the parish (which is run by Benedictines from Ampleforth), and he talked about how he encouraged the students to imagine that they were late to class, it was raining, and they'd forgotten their assignment. At that very moment, when they were stressed, soaked from the rain, annoyed, etc, the words on their lips should be the Glory Be: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
I've been trying to do that today. I've also been thinking of a doxology I learnt years ago: Praise God from Whom all blessing flow; praise Him all creatures here below, praise God above ye heavenly hosts, praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Does it make me feel better? Not really, but then, that isn't the point. The point is to give God the glory even when I don't feel like it. I suppose it's a bit like me telling Kieran that he needs to trust that I'm not giving instructions arbitrarily, but because I'm trying to protect or help him. I need to trust that God has a plan for all this, and whatever it is, however I feel, I will praise Him.