Monkey See, Monkey Do

Watching my children gives me insight into how often I do certain things, since they imitate my husband and me and each other.  Sometimes this is humbling, sometimes just hilarious, and sometimes it makes me proud.  I truly am proud when I see Kieran "breastfeeding" one of his toys.  Breastfeeding is a part of his life, something he sees every day, and so it makes sense to him to "feed" his toys in this way (he's only rarely seen bottles, and I'm not sure he'd actually be able to identify one).  I am proudest when he's kneeling and praying, at Mass or at home, for I see that he's learning these things from us.

In the hilarious camp are those things that the kids do together.  I love it when Kieran asks Charlotte to hold his hand, in the same way I ask him to hold my hand when we're crossing a busier street.  Lately he's taken to trying to play hide-and-seek with Charlotte, trying to convince her to hide with him so he can ask me where they've gone.

The things that really get to me, though, are the things they imitate that I wish I didn't do.  Lately Kieran's been repeating "I'm sorry for raising my voice" (no, he hasn't been shouting).  I raise my voice all too often, or just get a harsher tone to my voice, and it's usually when they're doing age-appropriate things.  I make sure I apologise, thus where Kieran's getting that sentence that he keeps repeating.  It's truly like a knife to the heart to think that my weakness in this regard is influencing him so much.  And so I will try to be better at this, and will pray a lot and (hopefully) receive the Eucharist frequently and go to Confession regularly.  Can't beat the grace given to us through these Sacraments.  When I do mess up, and I know I will, I will continue to apologise to my kids and ask them for their forgiveness.