Conflict

I was thinking about something recently, about how some objections to Attachment Parenting seem to be based on conflict.  Conflict between the spousal relationship versus the parental relationship or conflict between parent and child.  What I mean is the arguments I've heard against co-sleeping or responding quickly to cries or breastfeeding on demand.  I've seen people saying that co-sleeping will ruin a marriage, setting up a conflict between the spousal and parental relationships.  I've seen people say that responding quickly to the child every time (ie: not practising cry-it-out or sleep training) or breastfeeding completely on demand instead of scheduling feedings leads to the child manipulating you, thus setting up a parent-child conflict.

While I know I'm no expert, given that my oldest child is just over 3 years old, I see this conflicts are artificial.  Why must there be a conflict between the spousal and parental relationships?  Yes, there's an adjustment period, but the relationships are not ad odds, and to say they are is to set up a false dichotomy (I love that word, by the way).  The same with saying the child is manipulating you, or saying that you must train the child to your schedule instead of doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done.  If a parenting style is creating a conflict, perhaps it's time to reevaluate things, in my opinion.  Being a parent is hard, but I see no reason for it to inherently create conflict between spouses or the parents and children.