Stricter than the Church

Holy Week has had me thinking about a tendency I sometimes have to be stricter than the Church.  You see, I'm not required to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, because I'm breastfeeding.  And yet, every year (except for last year, when I was heavily pregnant and nauseated on Ash Wednesday and had a 6-day-old baby on Good Friday), I try to fast because I feel like I should, even though I end up feeling ill.  Those who know me know that I can be quite mean when I'm hungry - it's worse when I'm breastfeeding, because I'm even hungrier.

I don't know why I try to make myself fast from food, at least somewhat (I didn't completely fast, just ate quite a bit less), but I do.  As my husband was gently scolding me for doing that, it occurred to me that what I was doing was in a way not trusting God.  I fully believe that God has provided us with the Church, and the Church has set forth the requirements on fasting for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and I should trust.  I guess it's along the same lines as someone thinking the penance they've been given is too light and adding to it, when we should trust that the penance given was exactly what was needed.

Now, I think there's nothing wrong with going above and beyond the requirements when done out of love for God.  For example, there's nothing wrong with someone observing the old Eucharistic fast from midnight instead of the 1-hour Eucharistic fast that is now in place, provided it is done out of reverence and not because one thinks it is required or that the new requirement is too lenient.  In fact, I think it is an act of humility to submit in this way.  For me, it is humbling to admit that I need to eat regularly instead of fasting on those days, and not to try to make it too burdensome for me.  Really, that defeats the purpose, for it is not to be a burden, but a reminder to look to God and to trust in Him.  It's a mortification, yes, but isn't intended to make us miserable or ill.  Hopefully I can remember this next year.

Book Nook

This book combines the author for the Harry & the Dinosaurs books (Ian Whybrow) with the illustrator for The Gruffalo (Axel Scheffler), so you know it's a good book.  We got it for Kieran when he was 2, and it was an instant hit.  It has various pull-tabs and such, so it's a very interactive book.  We've had lots of fun with it.

On Being an Introverted Mother

The quiz I took the other day, along with an article on being an introvert, have had me thinking more about how being an introvert affects me as a mother.  I've always known I'm an introvert, but hadn't thought about how that affects my parenting.  I love being a mother, and I love being around my children, but at the same time, I sometimes find that I need time just to myself, where I'm not around anyone and also not doing housework.  I can get very uptight and stressed if I go a long time without having this, which can result in me being a bit snappy.

Both my need to sometimes be alone and my snapping at people would then bring feelings of guilt (I'll still feel guilty about snapping at people).  I would feel horribly guilty at leaving the kids for a few minutes while I did something.  Of course, it didn't help that I was bombarded the moment I walked back through the door.  Or I would feel guilty that I didn't want to spend some time with my husband after I'd just put both kids down for a nap and finally got a moment to myself.  I recognise more now that this isn't because I don't want to be around my family, but that I need that time to myself to reenergise myself and collect my thoughts.  After doing that, I am then able to give them the attention they need.  I'm learning that this isn't some deficiency on my part and that if I just work harder, it'll change, but this is part of who I am.  I should therefore work with my strengths and weaknesses as an introvert, instead of trying to force myself to be someone I'm not.  Hopefully I can remember that more now that I've identified that.

Knitting Thursday

I'm still working on Charlotte's dress.  Here's how it looks thus far.  I just need to do one more set of increases on the skirt, and then I can start on the sleeves.

I also finished the case for my Kindle.  I'm probably going to make a strap for it at some point.

I think I've figured out what I'm going to do for my sweater.  I'm going to start out doing a top-down V-neck raglan using these instructions.  For the skirt part I'm still debating, but I think I might go with some marriage lines and/or diamonds.  I don't really want it to be a lace, because I don't want to get cold.

Milk Donation

When Charlotte was somewhere around 4 months old, she developed a habit of pulling off the breast right at let-down, and she'd refuse to drink some more.  At that point, I started expressing some, even though I greatly dislike expressing, purely for my own comfort.  My children don't get bottles, nor did I think of letting Charlotte drink the expressed milk, as I didn't want her to start refusing the breast or for my supply to dip.  She's never been a big comfort-nurser, and I didn't want to tempt fate.  I then tried to convince Kieran to drink the expressed milk, but he wouldn't.  If the idea hadn't been a bit off-putting for my husband, I would've cooked with it.  Actually, if it's just something for the kids and myself, I will cook with it.

As it stood, though. I was expressing fairly large amounts of milk, only for it to go to waste.  I therefore started wondering if there was a milk bank to whom I could donate.  I went to the local LLL meeting around that time, and asked the leader if she knew of one.  She immediately told me the name of the Wirral Mother's Milk Bank and suggested that I contact them, as she'd donated to them before.  They accept donors from all over NW England, and provide that donated milk to the preemies and other infants in NICUs in the various hospitals around the area.  One of my friends had recently given birth to a very premature baby, and so she was on my mind.  I also thought of one of my cousins, who was also born premature.

So I contacted them, and they immediately sent me the information and bottles and information for the blood tests I would need.  I tried to express daily, provided the kids or I weren't unwell, though this didn't always happen, especially as we got closer to Charlotte's birthday.  As I mentioned before, I really dislike expressing milk, but I couldn't see denying those infants the gift of milk, knowing that human milk is better for them, and knowing that mothers of preemies cannot always express (while nearly all women can breastfeed, some have trouble expressing milk - it's really a completely different ballgame).

A lady came to collect the milk on a fortnightly or monthly basis, depending on our schedules and how much I'd been able to express.  The last collection was just prior to Charlotte's birthday.  They stop collecting at that point because the composition of the milk changes as the child gets older.  Obviously it isn't some huge change on the day they turn 1, but I see the reason for the cut-off.  This week, I got a card in the post thanking me for the donation of milk, and informing me that I'd donated 3,350 mL of milk.  I was rather surprised that I'd donated over 3 litres.  I'm very glad I was able to do that, though.

After I started to donate to the milk bank, Human Milk 4 Human Babies (formerly Eats on Feets) was formed.  I've not donated through them, but I will if I find someone in my area needs it.  I think it's wonderful that such a network exists, so women can have access to human milk for their babies when they, for whatever reason, cannot provide it themselves.

What Kind of Mother Am I?

I just took this quiz, actually, and got that I'm an INTP.

I'm a "Love of Learning" Mother! (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) Intellectually curious and patient, I relish those times with a child when we are learning something interesting together. What's your mothering personality type? Take the MotherStyles quiz at FamilyEducation.com!

   I don't remember what my results were the last time I took one of those Myers-Briggs tests, though I'm sure I've always gotten the "introverted" tag.  This used to mean that I had trouble speaking to others and putting myself in situations where I was meeting new people and being sociable; now it means that I can do those things, but I do feel quite drained unless I hit it off with the other person straight away.  Anyway, I did find that the description seems to fit pretty well, though I'm not sure how patient I am.

Book Nook

This isn't a book my children have, but one I've gotten as a present for another child.  I've always loved Beowulf, and when Kieran was born I was determined to see if there was a version of Beowulf for children.  Personally, I think Prof Caldwell should write one, as I'm sure it would be wonderful.  My father found one and gave it to him, though he's not been too interested in it yet.  Hopefully he will be before long.  Recently, though, I was thinking of getting another copy for a girl I know who is very interested in dragons.  So on to Amazon I went, and while I did find a copy of that one, too, I also came across this one from Usborne.  I like coming across Usborne books, as all the ones I've seen have been really good, and many of them also have internet pages for further research, too, if wanted.

I should add that my children have had some exposure to the Beowulf story, thanks to Star Trek: Voyager. ;-)