Shortly after I'd had K, I came across this article on
the domestic monastery, and how motherhood can be compared to the monastic life, but that the "bells" calling to us are not the bells of prayer, but the cries of our children. This fits in well with the Benedictine motto of "ora et labora" (prayer and work), in my opinion. I keep coming back to the idea of the domestic monastery, though. It always seems to be in the back of my mind, nudging me to respond quickly to my children, especially when I'm in the middle of something else. It's a constant struggle to suppress my will, to submit, to serve, but it is worth it when I do it. I wish I could say that I always serve as if serving Christ, but that is rarely the case. Instead, I'm all too often harsh in my words and tone. Maybe I should see if one of the Benedictine monks would be willing to give me spiritual direction, though I don't know how I'd swing that with the kids, or if any of them would have the time at the moment. In the meantime, I'll continue praying that one day I'll be able to respond quickly and gently every time, by the grace of God.
