Today found us in St Augustine, FL for the annual March For Life. Having attended last year, we'd learned that we needed to arrive earlier to park anywhere close, and that the kids wouldn't do well staying for the speaker. So we timed it to get there around an hour early, and we still had to park about a block or so down the road. Charlotte had fallen asleep in the car and wasn't quite awake yet; Leo was wide awake, which means he didn't want in the mei tai. So I started out with Charlotte in the mei tai on my back and Leo in my arms, just until Charlotte was more awake. The kids wanted to goby the large cross at the shrine, and I wanted to step in at the shrine of Our Lady of La Leche to pray for a friend whose baby is due.
After that, we were ready for the march. There was a good crowd, and fair weather. The kids wanted to hold signs and were proud of themselves for doing so. By this time, Leo was asleep in the mei tai and Charlotte was intermittently walking and being carried by my husband. We didn't march with a specific parish or group, but we found ourselves close to the Couples for Christ group. One of their members was leading the Rosary, so I stayed close and prayed the Joyful and Sorrowful mysteries with them (that was as far as we got by the time we reached the end of the march).
I only saw one protester, but I didn't see any marchers react with anger. Instead, we kept praying, and I especially prayed for her healing from her anger. Further on, on George Street, some protester had dropped a bunch of clothes hangers in the path of the march. Again, my reaction was one of sadness and prayer. Our goal with pro-life events like this isn't just to stop abortion, but to help ensure a woman doesn't feel like that's the only viable option. I also lament that adoption is so expensive, because I'd bet many more would adopt if it weren't cost prohibitive.
While there was a speaker and food after the march, we chose to go on home. I wouldn't have been able to eat the meal (spaghetti), and the kids were ready to leave. I was glad we were able to participate, though.
19 January 2013
18 January 2013
Guilt
Guilt. All mothers have it. Often there is heated discussion about not making mothers feel guilty for their parenting decisions. Sometimes I agree with that sentiment if what the mother is doing isn't wrong. For example, a mother shouldn't feel guilty if she co-sleeps or doesn't, because both are valid options when done properly. Neither should she be guilted for parenting responsively, however that looks for her family. There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, as those with multiple children know, and we shouldn't pretend otherwise.
There are other times, though, when guilt is used as an excuse to refrain from giving information. How often have we heard that we shouldn't make mothers feel guilty for bottle-feeding when we're only giving information about breastfeeding and risks to not doing so?! Obviously such information shouldn't be used to berate mothers, but neither should we refrain from giving information out of fear of offending.
So often, though, giving information about breastfeeding, CIO/CC, and even babywearing is met with hostility and exclamations of how they and their children survived such practices and are "fine". Giving such information, though, isn't intended to make people feel guilty, but just to ensure parents have the best information available. We all want to do what's best for our children and we work with the information we have. When we later learn that a practice we were doing isn't best, it is jarring. We don't want to admit that our practice wasn't best and was, in some cases, harmful.
For example, I introduced solids too early with Kieran and even gave him a little bit of baby rice. I hadn't known at that time what the actual signs of readiness were, despite my intention of doing BLW (I hadn't researched it as much then as I later have). I didn't know about the pointlessness of baby rice, though I quit giving it since he didn't like it. I didn't know about the increased risk of eczema with premature introduction of solids, and Kieran ended up with bad eczema. Did I feel guilty? Yes, but I'm glad I was told these things so I could amend my practices in the future. I realised I couldn't berate myself because I was working within the scope of knowledge I had, and with the advice of the Health Visitor. I am thankful Kieran's eczema has disappeared, and now I know better what to do.
I could also feel guilty about having used a Baby Bjorn a few times with Kieran. I don't, though, because I didn't know the Bjorn is bad for the baby, physically. All I knew was that it hurt my back, so I didn't use it much. Thanks to a friend I heard about the Kari Me wrap and started using it; not only was it better for him, but it was the first carrier I'd found that didn't hurt my back (I'd also tried a non-stretchy wrap).
My point in all his is that, while there isn't one right answer for parents, there are some things that are clearly better or clearly harmful, and parents deserve to have that information. Not to make them feel guilty, but to make sure the information is available so parents can make truly informed decisions.
There are other times, though, when guilt is used as an excuse to refrain from giving information. How often have we heard that we shouldn't make mothers feel guilty for bottle-feeding when we're only giving information about breastfeeding and risks to not doing so?! Obviously such information shouldn't be used to berate mothers, but neither should we refrain from giving information out of fear of offending.
So often, though, giving information about breastfeeding, CIO/CC, and even babywearing is met with hostility and exclamations of how they and their children survived such practices and are "fine". Giving such information, though, isn't intended to make people feel guilty, but just to ensure parents have the best information available. We all want to do what's best for our children and we work with the information we have. When we later learn that a practice we were doing isn't best, it is jarring. We don't want to admit that our practice wasn't best and was, in some cases, harmful.
For example, I introduced solids too early with Kieran and even gave him a little bit of baby rice. I hadn't known at that time what the actual signs of readiness were, despite my intention of doing BLW (I hadn't researched it as much then as I later have). I didn't know about the pointlessness of baby rice, though I quit giving it since he didn't like it. I didn't know about the increased risk of eczema with premature introduction of solids, and Kieran ended up with bad eczema. Did I feel guilty? Yes, but I'm glad I was told these things so I could amend my practices in the future. I realised I couldn't berate myself because I was working within the scope of knowledge I had, and with the advice of the Health Visitor. I am thankful Kieran's eczema has disappeared, and now I know better what to do.
I could also feel guilty about having used a Baby Bjorn a few times with Kieran. I don't, though, because I didn't know the Bjorn is bad for the baby, physically. All I knew was that it hurt my back, so I didn't use it much. Thanks to a friend I heard about the Kari Me wrap and started using it; not only was it better for him, but it was the first carrier I'd found that didn't hurt my back (I'd also tried a non-stretchy wrap).
My point in all his is that, while there isn't one right answer for parents, there are some things that are clearly better or clearly harmful, and parents deserve to have that information. Not to make them feel guilty, but to make sure the information is available so parents can make truly informed decisions.
17 January 2013
Crafty Thursday
Early in my pregnancy with Charlotte, a friend made me a mei tai. I wasn't confident in my sewing abilities and was quite nauseated, so I was grateful to her for making it. The end result was a beautiful, professional-looking, sturdy mei tai that even included interchangeable panels so I could change the look at any time. I often forget to do that, but I like having the option.
Fast forward to now, when I am fairly confident in my sewing skills. I decided to make a mei tai, so I asked my friend what pattern she used. She gave me a site with a tutorial, but said she didn't follow it completely. So I looked at the site and my own mi tai and got the measurements I needed. Then I went to JoAnn's to get fabric, thread, and hook and loop tape. I decided on purple for the main colour and then found some precut quilting squares in complimentary colours for the panels.
Fast forward to now, when I am fairly confident in my sewing skills. I decided to make a mei tai, so I asked my friend what pattern she used. She gave me a site with a tutorial, but said she didn't follow it completely. So I looked at the site and my own mi tai and got the measurements I needed. Then I went to JoAnn's to get fabric, thread, and hook and loop tape. I decided on purple for the main colour and then found some precut quilting squares in complimentary colours for the panels.
15 January 2013
I Wish I'd Known
I've given birth three times now, and each time I've learned more about myself. There are also any things I've learned that I wish I'd known before giving birth the first time. Here's my list:
- you don't need to wait for permission to move about or do what comes naturally. I wasn't hooked up to IVs or monitors, so I could've labored standing in the shower like I wanted instead of waiting for someone to say it was ok (I certainly learned this lesson before the other two)
- You won't always get a break between contractions, despite what they tell you in antenatal classes
- you won't necessarily dilate a cm an hour, and that's ok. In fact, you might not dilate until transition, as I've learned is normal for me.
- You can indeed be in active labour without having a regular contraction pattern. This would be why I need to be convinced to phone the midwives, and then give birth shortly after seeing the midwife.
- internal checks are uncomfortable, unnecessary (at least in a normal labour), and disheartening. I was checked at the beginning of transition with Kieran and was dismayed when I was 3cm. Neither the midwife nor I thought I was in transition because of that, and both of us were surprised when my body started pushing an hour later.
- Hands and knees or kneeling are great positions for birth and minimize tearing.
- Birthing balls are wonderful during labour
- Coconut water might not taste great to me, but it's great for balancing electrolytes after birth.
- Pregnancy tea blend (nettle, alfalfa, red raspberry leaf, rose hip, lemongrass, spearmint) drunk during pregnancy and after birth really helps with blood loss, after pains, and milk production.
What would you add to this list?
- you don't need to wait for permission to move about or do what comes naturally. I wasn't hooked up to IVs or monitors, so I could've labored standing in the shower like I wanted instead of waiting for someone to say it was ok (I certainly learned this lesson before the other two)
- You won't always get a break between contractions, despite what they tell you in antenatal classes
- you won't necessarily dilate a cm an hour, and that's ok. In fact, you might not dilate until transition, as I've learned is normal for me.
- You can indeed be in active labour without having a regular contraction pattern. This would be why I need to be convinced to phone the midwives, and then give birth shortly after seeing the midwife.
- internal checks are uncomfortable, unnecessary (at least in a normal labour), and disheartening. I was checked at the beginning of transition with Kieran and was dismayed when I was 3cm. Neither the midwife nor I thought I was in transition because of that, and both of us were surprised when my body started pushing an hour later.
- Hands and knees or kneeling are great positions for birth and minimize tearing.
- Birthing balls are wonderful during labour
- Coconut water might not taste great to me, but it's great for balancing electrolytes after birth.
- Pregnancy tea blend (nettle, alfalfa, red raspberry leaf, rose hip, lemongrass, spearmint) drunk during pregnancy and after birth really helps with blood loss, after pains, and milk production.
What would you add to this list?
13 January 2013
Book Nook
My daughter loves Mother Mary (yep, we're definitely Catholic) and talks about her all the time. So when we went to the Catholic shop recently, Kieran suggested getting a book about Mary or Charlotte. I agreed and picked out My First Book About Mary by Christine Virginia Orfeo. It isn't too simplistic, so it keeps her interest, but neither is it too complex. It includes items from Tradition and Scripture to teach children about Mary's life. Charlotte loves it and asks everyone to read it to her. I'd definitely recommend it.
Sunday Snippets - a Catholic Carnival
Well, it's the last day of the Christmas season and life is getting back to normal, somewhat. Here are my posts for the week:
How I'm handling the dietary changes
Book Nook
Donating milk
Check out the full carnival at RAnn's.
How I'm handling the dietary changes
Book Nook
Donating milk
Check out the full carnival at RAnn's.
9 January 2013
Have You Considered Milk Donation?
Breastfeeding mums: have you ever considered milk donation?
After I had Charlotte, I was tandem-feeding and still had an oversupply! A friend, who is also a La Leche League leader, told me about the Wirral milk bank, so I promptly contacted them and donated until Charlotte was one. Because that milk went to the preemies in hospital, I couldn't donate to them after that. I then looked into Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB), but no one in my area needed milk. I really don't like expressing (I hand express), but do if someone needs it.
When Leo was born, I looked into donating to a milk bank again, but I'm not eligible due to the time I lived in England. My supply hasn't been as abundant due to Leo's latching issues, but I figured I could donate some. I hadn't gotten around to looking at HM4HB and really hadn't thought much about it until I heard of someone who's been approved for adoption. I then offered to express some until she could (hopefully) induce lactation. She accepted, so I've been eating loads of oats to up my supply (it works) and expressing.
Why do I do this when I dislike expressing milk? Because breastmilk is best for babies. If I couldn't breastfeed for some reason, I'd want to have donated milk on hand, or even get a friend to be a wet nurse. The WHO lists donor milk as being preferable to formula since t's more easily digested and has immune properties that formula cannot replicate. This is especially important for those in NICUs. Unfortunately, few truly have access to donor milk, with it either being unavailable or cost-prohibitive. I therefore find it important to promote milk donation, and so I donate.
So, have you considered it? Would you? Why or why not?
After I had Charlotte, I was tandem-feeding and still had an oversupply! A friend, who is also a La Leche League leader, told me about the Wirral milk bank, so I promptly contacted them and donated until Charlotte was one. Because that milk went to the preemies in hospital, I couldn't donate to them after that. I then looked into Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB), but no one in my area needed milk. I really don't like expressing (I hand express), but do if someone needs it.
Why do I do this when I dislike expressing milk? Because breastmilk is best for babies. If I couldn't breastfeed for some reason, I'd want to have donated milk on hand, or even get a friend to be a wet nurse. The WHO lists donor milk as being preferable to formula since t's more easily digested and has immune properties that formula cannot replicate. This is especially important for those in NICUs. Unfortunately, few truly have access to donor milk, with it either being unavailable or cost-prohibitive. I therefore find it important to promote milk donation, and so I donate.
So, have you considered it? Would you? Why or why not?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)